


Kneel Before Your Urgo

by PeaceHeather



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Bad Fic, Crack, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-25
Updated: 2006-03-25
Packaged: 2019-02-02 18:06:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12731604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeaceHeather/pseuds/PeaceHeather
Summary: What if Urgo got snaked?





	Kneel Before Your Urgo

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the archivists: this story was originally archived at [The Alpha Gate](https://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Alpha_Gate), a Stargate SG-1 archive, which began migration to the AO3 in 2017 when its hosting software, eFiction, was no longer receiving support. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are this creator and it hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Alpha Gate collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/thealphagate).

  
Author's notes: None. No wait, that's not true. Badfic. Not for the hyper-dignified (read: uptight).  


* * *

Jack and Daniel, hands clasped behind their heads, were herded roughly down the corridor toward the audience chamber of the palace - the palace they all had believed to be uninhabited when they first decided this planet was worth exploring. Behind them, they could hear Carter and Teal'c being afforded equal treatment, although the Jaffa's hands were bound securely behind him.

"Doesn't this get a little old with these guys?" snarked Jack. "I mean, it' s the same thing over and over - capture the prisoners, drag them into the throne room, gloat over them a while with that snaky voice, and then finally let them get some sleep in the dungeon of the week?"

A Jaffa shoved him roughly from behind.

Jack caught Daniel's eye, who shrugged. "Yeah, the thought had crossed my mind that they would have learned by now; I mean, how many of these guys have we killed in mid-gloat?"

Their Jaffa guard, apparently an equal-opportunity shove-er, took a turn with Daniel.

Carter spoke up from somewhere behind them. "Five, sir." They heard a stumbling step as her Jaffa guard generously decided to include her in the general all-around shoving going on.

"Are you certain it was not six, Major Carter?" said Teal'c.

The Jaffa tried shoving, you could tell, but Teal'c was bigger. And they had arrived at the audience chamber, anyway, so his fun was over.

The chamber was - aw, hell, if you've seen one Goa'uld audience chamber you' ve pretty much seen them all - big, built to focus attention on the throne, and decorated like the snakes were compensating for something. Taste, maybe. Jack rolled his eyes. There was a figure on the throne, but it was in shadow, deliberately of course, so he couldn't make out which snake-head it was. Something about him seemed vaguely familiar, though.

SG-1 were brought to a halt, per usual, the Jaffa stepped back and did that whole obeisance thing, per usual, and the lights began to come up on the throne. Ooh, intimidation time - per usual. Jack didn't do intimidation well, unfortunately.

Then he began to see the figure, dressed in double-X-large robes, and thought he could change his mind about that. He could actually FEEL the rest of his teammates getting the same stunned expression on their faces that he had on his.

Bald head, beady eyes, neatly trimmed beard along the lower jaw... yep, still reminded him of a famous tenor, except for the glowing eyes.

The snake saw them, stood up in his throne with dignity, and bared his teeth in a truly unholy smile. Jack could just hear Carter whispering "Oh, no", behind him. Then...

...then the Goa'uld flung his arms wide, and in that weird snaky voice of his, said, "GUYS! WOW! I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN AGES!!"

Jack could actually hear Daniel's eyebrows take off. "Ur." he sounded like he'd swallowed a cat, "Urgo?"

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to leave extra kudos, you're welcome to stop by [my Tumblr blog](http://peaceheather.tumblr.com) and say hello.


End file.
